Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
14 October 2011

Floh–A Singles-Only Network in Bangalore

By Suma Nagaraj

If you’re in Bangalore, single and are looking for a social circle that doesn’t involve married friends, here’s a great new place to hang out. Floh (Find Life Over Here) is a start-up that aims to bring together urban professionals in their twenties and thirties not with the ambition of setting them up, but to give them a platform to mingle and find interesting people outside their immediate social circles.

Siddharth Mangharam, entrepreneur and founder CEO, hit upon this brainwave after meeting his wife at a cheese-tasting event, an interest they both share. Having realized how increasingly difficult it has become for urban, well-settled single men and women to venture out and meet other singles outside of work and the comfort of friends, Siddharth and his wife decided to pitch this idea to singles within their personal networks, i.e., friends and professional contacts who had hit a dead end in dating.

Having said that, Siddharth is quick to assert that Floh is not a dating site or even a matrimonial one even though it has been instrumental in bringing some singles together. His business model works on the premise that singles have as much right to a happening social life as married people do – in fact, being free from rigid commitments and obligations, singles should find it an active social life easier than their not-single counterparts. There is no matchmaking involved, though. Every member is vetted and personally interviewed by a Floh founder and ‘determined’ whether they’d fit in with the network and enjoy interacting with its existing members before they gain entry.

There is also a very thoughtful right-of-admission reserved – access to Floh is on an invite-only basis, where only an existing member can invite you and refer you to Floh. Siddharth insists he doesn’t want this to balloon to unmanageable sizes and says that it’s not at all about the numbers. Considering the number of women members trump the number of men in the Bangalore venture currently, this ‘security’ measure is much welcome.

S, (name withheld on request), a marketing professional in her thirties, vouches for this. Having been a member since its inception, she’s still single, but welcomes the opportunity to meet like-minded people (or otherwise) outside her hectic corporate life once in a while and let her hair down. Her work and lifestyle have included a lot of travel so far, but she’s now in Bangalore for a good while and highly recommends Floh to single women in Bangalore.

Though this network is open to people in their twenties, Joe, an artist in his mid-twenties, found the  evening event to cater mostly to the 30+ crowd, something Siddharth says depends on the event you attend, since the network caters to people in the 25-40 age bracket. Floh events are bracketed into 4 categories – food (cook-outs), beverages (trips to vineyards, cocktail events) outdoors (nature sports, heritage walks) and cerebral/artsy (theatre workshops, photography). One can choose the event based on their likes and preferences. This way, the chances of meeting like-minded singles increases dramatically, says Siddharth. He tries to organize at least 4-8 events a month and covers a wide variety of interests including the recently concluded and hugely successful paint ball event for the perennially-young-at-heart populace.

With experience at McKinsey & Co. and Microsoft, Siddharth with his latest initiative seems to be poised on the edge of hitherto uncharted territory in urban India. His mantra is perfectly summed up in his own quote: “Emotions are best expressed when two people meet in a no-pressure, natural environment.”

He hopes to expand this to Delhi and Mumbai soon.

Bangalore’s Floh already has close to a 1000 members in 6 months of existence, but they’re handpicked and have to go through the Floh screen to gain entry. Floh’s only requirement is that if you find someone you’d like to date in their network, you’ll have to quit the network – a small ask for a terrific opportunity to meet interesting people and to skip the odious matchmaking ritual by well-meaning but largely irritating relatives and/or having to register on matrimonial sites with no surety of authenticity of profiles.

Note: Visit the Floh blog for write-ups and articles by members.

Eating a Ghost Chili Pepper with severe consequences

SAP Hmarcha
Eating Sap Hmarcha (Naga Mircha/ Bhut Jalokia) has severe consequences

19 September 2011

How To Wear A condom

How to wear a condom

Using a condom while having sex protects you from becoming infected with sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV. At the same time it also prevents unwanted pregnancy.

Selecting the right condom...

There are several types of condoms available in the market that you can choose from.

1. Most condoms are made of either latex or polyurethane. Latex condoms are more effective in terms of providing protection as chances of tear or leak are less. However, latex condoms will easily tear if an oil-based lubricant is used. Some people may also be allergic to latex.

2. Polyurethane condoms are thinner, which may give some users better sensation and pleasure.

3. Some condoms contain a spermicidal chemical called Nonoxynol 9. Till recently it was  thought that adding it would provide better protection against pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and other STDs, but recent studies have shown no added advantage.

4. Size of the condom should generally not be a concern as most condoms fit most men. The definition of regular, large, and extra-large is not consistent across brands. It may be a good idea to try a few products to figure  out what works the best for you. The basic idea is that it should not be so tight that it pinches or so loose that it slips off.

How to use a condom

1. Check the expiry date on the condom packet. Do not use the condom if the expiry date has passed.

2. Tear open the condom package carefully. Do not use scissors or your teeth to open the package as you may damage the condom in the process.

3. Remove the condom from the package, but do not unroll it right away. It is tough to put on an unrolled condom and it also makes it  more likely to tear.

4. See if the condom has a reservoir tip. If it does not, pinch the tip of the condom to leave a half inch space for semen to collect.

5. Now place the rolled condom over the tip of the erect penis. Uncircumsied men should pull back the foreskin before rolling down the condom.

6. Gently unroll the condom over the penis with the other hand all the way down to the base. Smooth out air bubbles as they can cause the condom to tear.

7. You may apply some water-based lubricants such as KY-Jellly or Durex Play on the outer surface of the condom for extra lubrication. This is helpful if you or your partner are having intercourse for the first time. Do not use oil-based lubricants such as vaseline, cold creams and lotions because these can cause the condom to tear.

Proper usage entails...

1. Not putting the condom on too tight at the end, and leaving about 1.5 cm (3/4 inch) room at the tip for ejaculation. Putting the condom on too snug can and often does lead to failure.

2. Wearing a condom too loose can defeat the barrier.

3. Avoiding condoms made of substances other than latex or polyurethane, as they don't protect against HIV.

4. Avoiding the use of oil based lubricants (or anything with oil in it) with latex condoms, as oil can eat holes into them.

5. Using flavoured condoms for oral sex only, as the sugar in the flavouring can lead to yeast infections if used to penetrate.

6. Withdrawing the penis soon after ejaculation while the condom is still firmly in place and removing the condom only when you have completely withdrawn from your partner.

7. Using a new condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Never use the same condom twice, whether or not you have ejaculated into it.

01 September 2011

Puritan Pundits Should Chill Out -- Here Are 5 Reasons I'm Happy I've Had Lots of Casual Sex

By Greta Christina

Things don't have to be permanent to be valuable. A fleeting moment can have as much value as a stone monument.

The phenomenon of women who have sex for its own sake seems to baffle many people. It's widely believed that women have sex for love, commitment, poor self-control, to manipulate men, to please men, to make babies, to sooth their low self-esteem, and just about any reason at all other than their own pleasure. (While men, of course, are rutting horndogs who just want to stick it in the nearest wet hole available.) Sex, according to this trope, is by its nature a commodity that women possess and men are trying to obtain... and the phenomenon of women who are "giving it away," who are defying these assumptions and treating sex as a pleasurable interaction between equals, is making the media piss all over themselves.

Mark Regnerus, Slate: "If women were more fully in charge of how their relationships transpired, we'd be seeing, on average, more impressive wooing efforts, longer relationships, fewer premarital sexual partners, shorter cohabitations, and more marrying going on."

Rachel Simmons, relationship advice columnist for Teen Vogue: "These letters worry me. They signify a growing trend in girls' sexual lives where they are giving themselves to guys on guys' terms. They hook up first and ask later. "

Bill O'Reilly: "Many women who get pregnant are blasted out of their minds when they have sex."

Susan Walsh, Hooking Up Smart: "They cannot see that as she [self-proclaimed proud-and-happy slut Jaclyn Friedman] proclaims her detachment from sex, she gets emotionally wounded every single time. They take heart from her proclamation that sluthood is a healing thing. Ms. Friedman is a hot mess. Craiglist Casual Encounters was not a miracle, it was a disaster that broke her heart again. I hope she does find Love, the whole enchilada."

Laura Sessions Stepp, author of Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both... oh, just look at the title.

Then there's the piece that got me staying up until four in the morning writing about this in the first place: Christian author Don Miller, who recently asked his female readers (and his male ones, in a separate post) if they've ever had casual sex, and if so, why. Miller doesn't ask this in a neutral way, a way that expresses a genuine desire for an honest answer. He asks in a way that makes it obvious what he thinks the answer will be -- whatever the reason is, it must be bad, bad, bad. In fact, he's asking in a way that totally slants the answers he's likely to get. He's asking "why some girls give up sex easily" (as if sex for women is always a surrender) and "do you use sex for some kind of social power or to make yourself feel good?"

It's like a push-poll -- a political poll designed to elicit a particular response, so you can shape people's opinions and make your position seem more popular than it really is.

And this push-poll tendency is shared by many of those who ask, "Why on earth would women want casual hookups?" They're not asking, "Why do some women have casual sex?" They're asking, "Why on earth would some women have casual sex, when it's so clearly a bad idea that will do them and other women harm and is obviously not in their best interest?" And they're doing this despite research showing that casual sex isn't, in fact psychologically harmful for young adults. They're basing their questions on the common assumption that women's natural state is to keep their legs closed unless they've got their hands on marriage or commitment... and that women who don't are some sort of baffling phenomenon that needs to be explained.

So I thought I'd try to explain it.

I've had a lot of experience with casual sex. It's been a while, and I'm not particularly interested in it anymore. But for many years, pretty much all the sex I had fell somewhere on the "casual" spectrum. Personal ad hookups; occasional sex with friends; sex clubs and sex parties; ongoing sexual friendships... that's what my sex life looked like for a long time.

And needless to say -- but I'm going to say it anyway -- a lot of this casual sex was a good idea. A wonderful idea, in fact. A lot of it was done for excellent, healthy reasons. And the effect it's had on my sex life and my love life has been overwhelmingly positive.

You want to know why I had it? Here's why.

1: Fun. This is first and foremost. In fact, all the other answers I'm about to give ultimately boil down to this one: Sex is fun. Sex feels good. Sex is its own justification. And that was every bit as true when I was single as when I've been coupled. I had sex for the same reason billions of other people have sex: Pleasure. Period.

We evolved to enjoy sex. We are descended from thousands of generations of ancestors who really, really liked to fuck. Asking why people have sex casually is like asking why people eat food casually. Eating feels good. Food is fun. It's often more fun when it's meaningful and done with people we love. But that's not always an option, and it can still be pretty darned fun when it's grabbed on the fly with acquaintances and strangers. We evolved to want to eat food. And we evolved to want to have sex. Like, duh.

2: Experimentation. When I was having casual sex with a lot of different people, I was also having lots of different kinds of sex. There are lots of reasons for that: some obvious, some not so obvious. The most obvious one is that my partners liked different things, so I tried the things they liked, to see if I might like them too. Plus, at the time, I felt more comfortable asking for and trying some of my freakier desires with fuckbuddies and casual hookups than I had with long-term romantic partners. I do wish that hadn't been true -- I wish I'd been less shy about experimenting with my LTR partners in my younger days -- but the whole stupid virgin/whore thing can get pretty deeply embedded, and it took many years of screwing around to get it (mostly) hacked out of my brain.

And that experimenting was awesome. I figured out an immense amount about my sexuality during my casual sex years. I learned a huge amount about which of my fantasies were really things I liked, and which were things I just liked thinking about. I figured out that yes, I really was a dyke, and yes, I really was kinky. And I discovered things about my sexuality that I never would have imagined if I hadn't tried them. My sex life is about a billion times more satisfying now that I know what I do and don't like in bed... and now that I have the courage to ask for it. Like, duh.

I haven't stopped learning and experimenting now that I'm married. And plenty of people do plenty of experimenting with just one partner, and do it entirely happily. But that's not how it played out for me. And when I think about who I was in my twenties, I'm not sure it could have played out that way for me. When I think about who I was in my 20s, I think casual sex with a large-ish number of people was the only way I was going to get those experiments under my belt. As it were.

3: Pleasure without unwanted commitment. As you may have figured out from this piece, I was single for a long time. After my divorce and before I fell in love with Ingrid, I was single for 12 years. And they were good years. Most of them, anyway. Staying single for so long was a conscious decision, and it was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. After my divorce, I was pretty confused, with some seriously messed-up ideas about love and relationships, and I had a strong tendency to be attracted to needy, fucked-up drug addicts. Staying single for 12 years gave me a chance to get my head screwed on straight; to re-train myself to be attracted to people who had their act together; to wait for the right partner instead of jumping into commitment with whoever was available; to learn that I could be happy and fulfilled on my own. In fact, my relationship and marriage with Ingrid wouldn't be nearly as strong if I hadn't been single -- and happily single -- for so long.

But if I'd tried to be celibate during all those years, I would have gone bananas. I never would have stuck it out.

Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. Not everyone should be in a relationship. Some people are better off single: temporarily, or indefinitely. I was one of them, for over a decade. And casual sex let me stay single... while still having the pleasure and confidence and connection and other yummy things that sex provides.

4: Independence and confidence. Catting around made me feel like a million bucks. And not just in the obvious way. It made me feel powerful, self-reliant, curious and playful, free and fun. It taught me the value of adventure. It taught me that awesome surprises can be around any corner if I'm open to them. It taught me that even crummy experiences can make for a really great story. It taught me strength and self-confidence. It taught me that saying "No" didn't make me a selfish jerk. It taught me that being told "No" didn't make me a pathetic loser.

I still feel that way. I haven't forgotten those lessons. And I am deeply grateful for everything in my life that got me there. Including casual sex. Casual sex wasn't the only thing that helped me feel powerful and self-reliant, adventurous and playful, independent and confident... but it was one of the things, one of the most crucial things, and I am profoundly thankful for it.

5: Intimacy and connection. Casual doesn't necessarily mean impersonal. A lot of the casual sex I had was fairly nonchalant. But a lot of it wasn't. A lot of it was very intimate indeed. It came out of a moment of feeling connected with another human being, and wanting to expand that connection. I didn't want romance or marriage with these people. But I cared about them, and I felt close with them, and I wanted to experience that closeness in a sexual way.

Some of those people started out as casual hookups, and became good friends over weeks and months. Some of them started out as friends, and the sex -- whether it happened semi-regularly or was just one many-splendored night -- deepened those friendships, and gave them a little extra sparkle and tingle. But they all have one thing in common... which is that I still feel affection towards them, and still have fond memories of the sex we had, and don't regret it for a minute.

I realize that this is a very atheist/ humanist philosophy of life, and one that a Christian writer like Don Miller is unlikely to respond to. But things don't have to be permanent to be valuable. A fleeting moment can have as much value as a stone monument. And that includes moments of sexual intimacy and connection

It Gets Better

I realize that I'm only one person, telling one person's story. And I realize that the plural of anecdote is not data. My experiences are largely supported by the data, but they aren't universal. I had a lot of things going for me that loaded the "casual sex" dice in my favor -- among other things, I was mostly having all this casual sex with other women, so the gender imbalances and weird sexual/ romantic power dynamics between women and men were a non-issue. And I realize that not everyone shares my experience. Some people go into casual sex for good, healthy reasons, and some people do it for bad, unhealthy reasons, and many people do it for a combination of the two. And some people have good outcomes from it, and some have crummy outcomes, and some have outcomes that are a mixed bag.

You know. Just like people go into marriage and committed relationships for good reasons and bad reasons and combinations of the two... with good, and bad, and mixed results.

And I'm not going to pretend that my casual sex was always perfect and awesome. It wasn't. Some of it was boring and pointless; a little of it was icky and sad. I'm not even going to pretend that my reasons for having it were always entirely healthy. I sometimes had casual sex, in part, to bolster my self-image as a nonconformist, or because that's what everyone else in my social circle was doing (yes, those two things are contradictory -- what's your point?), or as a salve for feeling lonely and unattractive, or because I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings by saying "No." Especially in the earlier days. Like most things in life, I got better at it as I went along.

But you know what? That was true of sex in relationships, too. Especially in my younger days. I didn't always have it for healthy reasons, and it wasn't always that great. But it got better as I went along. Much, much better. Sex at 49 is so much better than sex at 23, I can't even tell you.

And it got better, in large part, because of my years of casual sex. It's better because of the independence and confidence I got from casual sex... independence and confidence that strengthens me to this day. It's better because of the experiments I carried out during casual sex... experiments that helped me map out my sexuality and enjoy it to its fullest. It's better because of the moments of genuine connection I had during casual sex... moments that taught me how to pursue intimacy and make myself open to it. It's better because of all the sheer pleasure I got from casual sex... which helped me to value pleasure, and embrace it, and make it a priority in my marriage. It's better because of the years of being happily single which casual sex made possible... years that enabled me to wait for the right person, and turn myself into the right person, to make our love and our marriage work.

Sex, and marriage, and life, are better because of casual sex. For me, anyway. And no stupid push-poll in the world is going to change that answer.

Read more of Greta Christina at her blog.

20 August 2011

What Women Think When Men Are Naked

Dr Pam Spurr

Uncovered: what she really thinks of your body

Behaviour expert Dr Pam Spurr shares the inside scoop on what women are thinking when they see you naked.

Uncovered: what she really thinks of your body(Getty Images)

Guys know that when you see a woman naked there are often plenty of thoughts racing through their mind, some which might be in conflict. For example, "she looks hot... but is she really up for it? And with me?" But they are your thoughts, so at least you know your own mind.

Equally, her mind can be a hive of activity when she catches sight of your body, whether it's the first time or further down the line. But what is she thinking exactly? You might be surprised by some of what goes on in the female mind.

Read on to learn everything you need to know about 10 things she's thinking when she sees you naked.

So that's what he wears underneath...

So that's what he wears underneath... (Getty Images)

So that's what he wears underneath... She will have been wondering if you're a briefs-or-boxers type of guy. Women read so much about your personality - or try to - from the style and colour/pattern of your underwear. She's already been having a lot of fun guessing who you are and what you're about from the way you speak and from your body language. What type of underwear you sport is one of the next pieces of the puzzle in her assessment of you. Whatever brand they are, or what style, just make sure they're clean!

Oh my, let's take a look at his private package...

Oh my, let's take a look at his private package... (Getty Images)

Oh my, let's take a look at his private package... Yes, she looks at the 'whole package' but she also looks at 'the' package. Some surprising research from the Centre for Behavioural Neuroscience in 2007 found that women take a peek at your genitals very quickly indeed, in fact quicker than when your eyes wander 'down below' on her. It's thought that this is a natural biologically-based response, particularly if she's at the fertility peak of her cycle. Be confident, relax and let her take a good look!

So he's got a few lumps and bumps...

So he's got a few lumps and bumps... (Getty Images)

So he's got a few lumps and bumps... Women aren't by nature overly critical and although her eyes might skim over any excess weight that you're carrying, as long as you're confident in the bedroom it won't matter. Overwhelmingly women find confident men a turn on. She'll be picking up subtle cues from the way you move and speak that signal you feel good about what is going on between you. These are far more important to her than if she notices a spare tyre around your middle.

Your scent of seduction...

Your scent of seduction... (Getty Images)

Your scent of seduction... Stale sweat is a definite turnoff and a subconscious message of poor hygiene and maybe even poor health. But - and it's a big 'but' - fresh sweat is chock-full of your pheromones and MHCs** - the manly smells that women love and that can influence levels of attraction. It goes without saying that you don't have to greet her straight from the gym but don't overuse shower gels and aftershaves either. A little goes a long way and stick with the more masculine smells that mimic pheromones.

** Research reported in Behaviour Ecology 2003

He has soft areas too...

He has soft areas too... (Getty Images)

He has soft areas too... As she gets to know your body through exploring your erogenous zones she'll be surprised to find that you have soft areas too. Women are so much more used to the rougher feel of your hands and your five o'clock shadow that it's a nice surprise discovering your lower abdomen, the inside of your thighs and that your wrists are smooth and soft. She may want to spend time gently kissing and caressing these erogenous zones too, particularly with your encouragement.

Can he tell I'm nervous too...

Can he tell I'm nervous too... (Getty Images)

Can he tell I'm nervous too... Women are great at picking up male nervousness and as long as it's not extreme nerves she'll breathe a sigh of relief. She'll feel a warm sense of empathy towards your nerves and wonder if you can tell she's also nervous. This can deepen a fledgling emotional bond that you and she are equals when it comes to wanting things to go well. This ultimately can lead to a better sexual bond.

Please hold me tight...

Please hold me tight... (Getty Images)

Please hold me tight... If she has any nerves - particularly if this is your first time together - when she sees you naked she may feel in need of some big, affectionate cuddles. Take your time before you get into serious foreplay and make sure your foreplay includes some good, loving affection. A new boyfriend standing there big-and-in-the-buff and who wants to jump straight into a quickie can be daunting for some women.

I love his shoulders...

I love his shoulders... (Getty Images)

I love his shoulders... A key physical cue of your masculinity is knowing that your shoulders are wider than hers. Her eyeline is drawn to them even if you don't feel that they're particularly broad. Your broad shoulders immediately give her a sense of your physical differences - and vive la différence when it comes to the bedroom! Make sure she gets a good look as you peel off your shirt slowly and confidently.

The 'windows' to your soul...

The 'windows' to your soul... (Getty Images)

The 'windows' to your soul... Keep your eyes focused on her while at the same time keeping the lighting low if and when you are seducing her. University of Edinburgh researchers in 2009 showed that women are attracted to men with large pupils. Subconsciously she picks up that you're sexually attracted to her as enlarged pupils are a natural physical reaction when you find someone attractive. As the heat in the bedroom rises with foreplay she'll notice if you're giving her good eye contact - which is attractive anyway despite pupil size. Or if you're avoiding eye contact, she might read this as a lack of confidence.

I hope he's not comparing me to his ex

I hope he's not comparing me to his ex (Getty Images)

I hope he's not comparing me to his ex... As you two get naked - particularly if it's at your place and she knows your ex used to hang out there - she wants you to only have eyes for her. She wonders if the two of you together, in your bedroom, brings back other memories of your ex.

Focus entirely on her, ask what she would like and what you can do to please her and she'll soon forget such niggles.

American girl in Italy: 60 years later

By Mike Krumboltz

‘American Girl’ photo: American Girl in Italy, 1951 © 1952, 1980 Ruth Orkin / Courtesy of …

A stunning young woman walks down a street in Florence, her head held high. All around, men playfully gawk at her grace and beauty. Just then the camera shutter snaps. "American Girl in Italy" is among the most popular snapshots of all time, and it's turning 60 years old this month.

The photo, which was shot in 1951, perfectly captures the fun and romance of being abroad. In honor of its birthday, Ninalee Craig, the subject of the photo spoke with the "Today" show about what happened behind the scenes and what the photo really represents.

In her "Today" appearance, Craig spoke about how, despite what some might say, the photo isn't a "symbol of harassment." Craig insists that the image is "a symbol of a woman having an absolutely wonderful time."

Craig should know--when the photo was taken, she was a 23-year-old traveling alone through Europe. While staying at a cheap hotel, Craig met photographer Ruth Orkin, who was also touring the continent solo. The two spoke about the fun and challenges of being alone while on the road in Italy--and went on to hatch a plan to take photos highlighting that experience.

For two hours, the photographer and amateur model walked the streets of Florence. Orkin took photos at markets and in cafes. The street-scene photo came about naturally. According to Craig, Orkin shot only two pictures of her walking down the macho street. One of them turned out to be the iconic image commemorated today.

As for whether or not the photo was staged, Craig says no way. "The big debate about the picture, which everyone always wants to know, is: Was it staged? No! No, no, no! You don't have 15 men in a picture and take just two shots. The men were just there . . . . The only thing that happened was that Ruth Orkin was wise enough to ask me to turn around and go back and repeat" the walk down the street.

In the interview, Craig also remarked that she never felt in danger while walking among the admiring men. "None of those men crossed the line at all," she said.

Craig is now a great-grandmother living in Toronto. Orkin, who passed away in 1985, went on to co-write and co-direct the 1956 Oscar-nominated film "Little Fugitive." Of course, both women will be best remembered for one indelible image that, staged or not, captured the public's imagination and never let go.

Photo of Ninalee Craig today: Courtesy Keith Beaty/Toronto Star/GetStock

12 July 2011

Indian Teens Are Seriously Spoilt Brats

By Prathibha Joy

Indian teen smoking.jpg

If a recent survey is to be believed, Indian teens are seriously bad-ass. They cheat in school, smoke, drink, try drugs and are rather promiscuous. To make matters worse, they won't discuss any of this with their parents.

And why would they, ask experts, when they have access to any information they need at their fingertips.

According to student counsellor Romila Rodrigues, urban youngsters with working parents spend more time with their cellphones and laptops than they do with their parents.

"Youngsters today grow up in a world where information is freely available.

There are books, the Internet and satellite television that they have easy access to. If we don't teach them about the cons of substance abuse and casual sex, they'll get information from other sources, which may be convoluted," says Romila.

And the problem with young people having sex is that most often, they don't know the consequences. "Though a lot of adolescents experience some form of physical intimacy early on, a majority of them do not know about the effects and consequences of sex.

In most cases, they are not even well-informed about the act itself," says Rekha G, branch manager of the Family Planning Association. Her view is endorsed by Dr Vinod Chebbi, sex and marriage therapist. "Adolescents think they are too young to get pregnant, but old enough to have sex. But the problem is that they are just satisfying their curiosity," he says.

With contraceptives available over the counter, youngsters have a false sense of security, adds Rekha. "And when a period is missed, they go into denial and think it's the hormones or stress that's causing the missed period. By the time they realise what it actually is, it's too late," adds Dr Chebbi. But even if it's too late, youngsters these days have a solution. "What's worrying is that there's a growing lack of morality among youngsters, especially when it comes to teen pregnancies.

If a girl does fall pregnant, she gets an over-the-counter drug to terminate the pregnancy or goes to a shady clinic to get it medically terminated. And the parents of the girl remain oblivious to what's happening," says Romila.

And if that's the state of teenagers today, the parents are to blame, feel experts. "Sex education is still frowned upon in this country and the anatomical approach to the subject that was practised in schools is detrimental — telling them how and when to do it is not the key. Parents also shy away from broaching the subject and expect teachers to handle it and vice-versa. That's when ill-informed peers and siblings step in," adds Dr Chebbi.

The other issue, says Romila, is that parents take pride in ensuring that their children are kitted with the latest and most hi-tech gizmos and ample pocket money. "Even if a teen doesn't want to try hard-core drugs or alcohol, peer pressure forces him/her to at least try them, even if it is a milder version.

Information about drugs is available on Net-enabled cellphones or laptops. Money is not a problem for an urban teenager, whose parents use it to compensate for the lack of quality time spent together," she says.

What parents and society at large should realise is that these activities of teenagers are no longer secrets, adds counsellor Kavitha Michael. "It's considered uncool if you aren't up to speed with the rest of your peers.

Sex, drugs, alcohol are all part of the growing-up process now," she signs off.

08 July 2011

All You Want To Know About Botox

Ageing is totally natural, but through aesthetic dermatology you can slow down the signs. The popular Botox is one such method.

All you want to know about Botox

The field of dermatology has witnessed unprecedented growth and success in the last couple of years. People have found an easy and effective way to treat many skin issues, including ageing.

Aesthetic dermatology deals with different types of skin problems, including skin diseases; changes brought about with ageing; scars caused by accidents and cosmetic corrections. Aesthetic dermatology corrects skin problems along with enhancing the cosmetic appearance of skin.

The world of aesthetic dermatology is a vast and ever-evolving one. We start by introducing you to one of the most popular procedures used to arrest ageing and improve skin quality.
Botox

Botox is the popular term for 'Botulinum Toxin'. Botox has multiple uses including, curing muscle spasms, chronic migraines and excessive sweating. One of the most popular uses however, is to erase or reduce signs of ageing from one's face. Across the world, dermatologists use Botox injections to remove wrinkles and forehead creases in a non-surgical manner.

All you want to know about Botox

When injected underneath the skin, the Botox temporarily paralyses facial muscles and thus reduces wrinkles and lines. The effect usually lasts from between 6 to 8 months.

Although it is a clinically proven methodology that's revolutionised the cosmetic branch of dermatology, it does have its own set of advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages

- Botox is much less invasive than a face-lift.

- It's also far quicker and cheaper than other surgical procedures. Botox can be administered in a couple of hours.

All you want to know about Botox

Disadvantages

- The change in appearance is not permanent and after the effect of Botox wears off in a 6-8 months, the lines and wrinkles reappear.

- It's not abnormal to face certain side effects like soreness and some initial pain.

- Since the muscles have been numbed, the person who's had Botox injected may end up looking surprised or always frowning. Fortunately, since the effects are temporary, the face comes back to normal after a few months.

- Some people may experience an allergic reaction to Botox.

- It may not agree with some medication or antibiotics that the person is already on.

- Also, in some rare cases, these injections have caused weakening or drooping of the facial muscles. This often occurs if the dosage being injected was too high.

If you are considering using Botox on your skin, make sure you get a licensed professional to administer it and inform them of any pre-existing medical conditions or medication you may be on.

29 June 2011

History as her stories

By C.K. Meena

Lucky Lobster can be called a political play


LIFE'S PLAY Lucky Lobster

That Swar Thounaojam hails from Manipur was an inconsequential detail in the context of her debut “Fake Palindromes” staged this January, but a matter of inescapable significance when it came to her second play, “Lucky Lobster”, staged at Ranga Shankara last weekend. Try as she might to universalise it by refusing to name places or characters, it ends up addressing those for whom the ‘North-East' blurs into a single amorphous entity. Like the Kashmir ‘situation' we often talk of the Manipur ‘situation', which we reduce to Maoists, army bullets, naked mothers and Irom Sharmila. The playwright avoids such clichés and, through the narratives of women who run a market in Imphal called Ema Keithel, draws attention to the history of her troubled state. The four teenagers on stage who ask questions classroom-lesson-fashion represent various social groups at different points in the play: the ignorant audience, a bunch of outsiders documenting the oral histories of the local people, and the new urban generation that doesn't care for the past and lives entirely in the present.

There is a problem with history lessons, though. In the hands of the wrong teacher they can be tedious. Why does the director/playwright choose to make her lead actors read out (or pretend to) long sections of text for a good half hour or more? And make the schoolchildren look conspicuously bored out of their wits for the entire length of the play? And, to cap it all, make them move about continuously? This is hugely distracting. Not only does the spectator, who has at most two eyes, find it difficult to take in seven things at a time, but the restlessness on stage also infects her. Occasional, relevant movements to break an actor's monologue can be justified: for instance, when Lakshmi Krishnamurty, who convincingly plays the confused old vendor living in the past, talks of the changes she resents, the schoolchildren keep blocking her path while she speaks of how crowded her town has become. If showing uninterested school kids is pressing the point, so is the academician's (played by Vijay Nair) reading out an entire jargon-packed thesis on women's empowerment. The irony is lost after a few minutes although Nair attempts to bring in light relief through his periodic ear-and-throat-clearing noises. Half way through, when the play snapped out of recital mode into actual theatre with Nair enacting an event, the energy level rose; it peaked with the subsequent narratives of the two younger vendors, particularly those of Anu H.R.

All told, this is a political play that deals with authority and repression. It begins with a (Manipuri) nonsense verse “Te-te tena-wa” set to the tune of “Jana Gana Mana”, which degenerates into a cacophonic shouting that clearly symbolises disturbance and conflict. The powerful stories of women whose sons have disappeared — either killed by the state or recruited by militants — are not specific to any state or even country. Vendors relocated from an old market into a new one, teenagers with money to burn… the playwright has constantly tried to generalise human experience.

Before the play began the audience was invited to walk on stage and examine an ‘installation'. This consisted of some strong portrait shots and backlit images of presumably Ema Keithel and its women vendors (taken by Deepika Arwind), all the props in the play (including a teapot and glucose biscuits), and a silent, looped video showing a woman in the grip of either extreme grief or possession. If this was meant to draw us into the atmosphere of the play it didn't work. Had the photos been strung up along the last landing leading to the auditorium entrance, one could have lingered over them on the way in. Ambient sounds recorded in the market played through speakers would have captured the mood.

Thounaojam seems to have a penchant for catchy but mystifying titles. This one is a reference to an essay by David Foster Wallace (this uber-cool po-mo dead dude who is suddenly all the rage) in which he countered the belief that the lobster feels no pain when dunked in boiling water. Lucky lobster if feels no pain. Hmm. That requires quite a stretch of the imagination.

12 June 2011

Beyond First Kiss

First child more memorable than first kiss for women

A new survey has found that having first child topped list for women’s most memorable experiences while the first kiss came in seventh.

First child more memorable than first kiss for women

Washington, Jun 12 : You might think of your first kiss as a life-changing moment, but your perception may change after having your first child.

A new British survey has found that having a first child topped the list for women’s most memorable experiences while the first kiss came in seventh, reports the Daily Mail.

In the study, over 2,000 people across the UK were asked to rate their top 15 firsts, from getting drunk to having a mid life crisis, and reveal the age at which the event occurred.

For men, the most momentous occasion was getting married, according to the poll.

It confirmed teenage years as the most challenging period, while people seem to be happiest in their twenties.

Late teenage years were highlighted as the most difficult, with the majority of the British public losing their virginity at 18, then suffering their first heartbreak at 20, as well as leaving home.

However by 54, after suffering a mid-life crisis, things seem to get better as the first grandchild arrives greeted by retirement.

The poll was conducted to mark the release of virtual-life computer game The Sims 3: Generations.

Read, Register, Release

Read, register, release

How often have you given away old books to the raddi wala or just sold them to the newspaper vendors as they were taking up too much space?

For booklovers this is tantamount to a hanging offence.

There is, however, a solution to this. Aiming to make 'the whole world a library', is a free online book club called BookCrossing.

Here one can ‘release’a book for people all over the world to read. The exchange takes place in the form of direct swaps with other members of the websites, or 'book rings' in which books travel in a set order to participants who want to read them.

Seventeen-year-old Luqmaan Siddiqui from Little Flower Junior College says, “My mom got me into reading whatever books I could lay my hand on, for as long as I can remember.

And now I have my own personal collection ranging from fantasy to fiction. BookCrossing sounds like a novel idea. I mean, you have this vast collection to choose from and for avid readers like me it means a paradise of books.”

A modern day ‘Message in a Bottle,’ the books must be registered with the website. Users can then ‘go hunting’, this is where a member will log on to the website to view a list of books that has recently been ‘released’, they then go to the location where it has been left to ‘catch’ it.

People interested in BookCrossing in the city can find whatever books they want with the help of members on the website http://www.bookcrossing.com/mybookshelf/PanjimInn-OBCZ/.

Books may also be left at Official BookCrossing Zones. Panjim Inn, Goa’s heritage hotel is India’s first Official BookCrossing Zone. You can either leave them here or can write to the in-charge of Panjim Inn at thefrangipanijournals@g-mail.com.

For some the concept is incredible and they are having a hard time comprehending how it works. Thirteen-year-old Nikita Hari from Indus World School, says, “I have never heard of this website.

When it comes to sharing books, I have only thought about my friends. But to have people from all over the country get access to my collection sounds incredible. ”

But not everyone wants to share their books. “Certain books have great sentimental value and even if I’ve read them a billion times I wouldn’t want them to fall in the hands of someone who wouldn’t even be interested in them.

A person might sell them for some money instead of reporting them on the website, as intended,” says 17-year-old Sayoni Chakrabarti, who finished her intermediate from FIITJEE Junior College.

No matter what the perspective be, ‘Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.’

So what are you waiting for? Get ready as it’s time to increase your circle of friends.

11 June 2011

Now, 3-D Printed Bikinis To Custom Fit Every Curve!

For the first time ever, designers have created bikinis called the ‘N12 bikini’ made from 3-D printers which could adapt to fit every woman’s curves perfectly.

The world's first 3-D printed two-piece is made of small nylon discs that are held together by thread-like springs.

Shapeways used their 3-D printing technology to create the material for the designers and called it Nylon 12, which is 'ideal swimsuit material as it is innately waterproof', and this is where the ultimate custom fit 3-D bikinis got its name from.

“Thousands of circular plates are connected by thin strings, creating a wholly new material that holds its form as well as being flexible," Discovery News quoted the designers Jenna Fizel and Mary Haung of Continuum Fashion as saying.

“The layout of the circle pattern was achieved through custom written code that lays out the circles according to the curvature of the surface. In this way, the aesthetic design is completely derived from the structural design,” they added.

30 May 2011

Mile-High Flirting Goes Horribly Wrong

flirtingA US man who tried to flirt with a young woman on board a plane by bragging he was carrying enough poisonous gas to knock out the entire aircraft found himself arrested and banned for life from Delta Air Lines.

Bryan Sisco, 40, allegedly knocked back five whiskey-and-cokes at an airport bar in Dallas on Friday before boarding his Atlanta-bound plane, on which he took a wrong seat and found himself next to Danielle Valimont, 23, from Griffin, US, The Commercial Appeal reported.

When confronted by a flight attendant about being in the wrong seat, Sisco said he and Valimont were newlyweds.

The 40-year-old then whipped out a butane lighter, sparking it near Valimont's legs, and boasted that he had a canister that contained enough gas to knock out everyone on the plane.

In further attempt to impress her, Sisco also claimed he was an architect and a federal marshal, and his father was in the CIA, according to Valimont who wrote about the incident on her blog.

"He was very crass with his language and called me "B****" and "F*****" in a friendly, joking way - if that's possible"Delta Airlines

The quick-thinking Valimont pretended she needed the bathroom and managed to alert a flight attendant.

The flight was diverted to Memphis, where a baffled Sisco, who had been sleeping and oblivious to the unfolding panic, was arrested by officers who boarded the plane.

"I fell asleep, and woke up in handcuffs in Memphis with the FBI questioning me. ... I couldn't even feel my thumb, the handcuffs were put on so tight," he said.

Sisco added that he was puzzled by the fuss which came about "because of that one comment".

"We were talking, sharing M&Ms, eating chocolate, having a good time," he said. "I fabricated some truths about myself. ... I thought we were getting along pretty good."

The flight continued on its way to Atlanta, while Sisco was released on a $10,000 bond. He faces charges of carrying a weapon or explosive on an aircraft.

19 May 2011

Caught On Cam : Bride-To-Be Attempts Suicide

Chinese Bride Attempts Suicide on Wednesday May 18, 2011

Woman in a wedding gown sits on a windowsill before attempting to kill herself by jumping out of a seven-storey residential building in Changchun

In this photo taken Tuesday, May 17, 2011, a cadre of the community office grabs 22 year-old woman after she tried to kill herself by jumping out of a window of a seventh floor building in Changchun c

Woman in wedding gown attempts to kill herself by jumping out of seven-storey residential building in Changchun

In this photo taken Tuesday, May 17, 2011, residents tried to save 22 year-old woman after she tried to kill herself by jumping out of a window of a seventh floor building in Changchun city in northea

In this photo taken Tuesday, May 17, 2011, a cadre of the community office grabs 22 year-old woman after she tried to kill herself by jumping out of a window of a seventh floor building in Changchun c

Woman in wedding gown is grabbed by local community officer, as she attempts to kill herself by jumping out of seven-storey residential building in Changchun

Combo picture shows woman in wedding gown being grabbed by local community officer as she attempts suicide in Changchun

10 May 2011

Clothing Firms 'Sexualise' Girls

Clothing firms 'sexualise' pre-teen girls: study

As six are being pitched clothing that highlights their breasts, buttocks or slimness or sends a message of sensuality, the study says.'

US Clothing firms marketing sexy garments for pre-teen girl - AFP

US Clothing firms marketing sexy garments for pre-teen girl - AFP

Paris, May 11 : Some clothing firms in the United States are marketing sexy garments for pre-teen girls, reinforcing a destructive stereotype of female attractiveness, research released on Monday said.

Girls as young as six are being pitched clothing that highlights their breasts, buttocks or slimness or sends a message of sensuality, the study says.

Researchers led by Sarah Murnen, a professor of psychology at Kenyon College in Ohio, looked at 15 websites of popular clothing stores, ranging from bargain to high-end sectors of the junior US market.

Using 38 college students, they devised a system to assess the sexiness of various garments, and used this system to grade 5,666 clothing items.

Clothing was rated according to whether it had only childlike characteristics; revealed or emphasised an intimate body part; or had characteristics that were associated with sexiness.

An example of a ‘childlike’ characteristic would be a top with a butterfly print in pastel colours.

In contrast, a bikini was coded as ‘revealing’ because it exposed the waist and part of the chest. The bikini was considered ‘emphasising’ if, for instance, it outlined each breast with triangular pieces of fabric.

Similarly, highly-decorated back pockets on trousers adorned, for instance, with a bird or sequins were deemed ‘emphasising’ because they drew attention to the buttocks.

Material that was lingerie-like (such as in slinky red or black fabric) or in leopard or zebra prints was categorised as having characteristics associated with sexiness.

Sixty-nine per cent of the clothing assessed in the study had only child-like characteristics.

Four per cent had only sexualising characteristics, while 25 per cent had both sexualising and childlike characteristics. One per cent had neither sexualised nor child-like characteristics.

The researchers said the biggest sexualisation was in clothing sold by ‘tween,’ or pre-teen stores, especially Abercrombie Kids, which came under fire in 2002 for selling thong underwear in children's sizes with ‘wink wink’ and ‘eye candy’ printed across the front.

The paper appears in a specialist journal, Sex Roles, published by Germany's Springer publishing house.

Its authors say girls face escalating demands placed to meet the Western stereotype of slimness and sexiness. The pressures of ‘self-objectification’ can lead to body dissatisfaction, depression, low confidence and poor self-esteem.

"The co-occurrence of sexualising and child-like characteristics makes the sexualisation present in girl's clothing covert," it says.

"Confused parents might be persuaded to buy the leopard-pink miniskirt if it's bright pink. Clearly, sexiness is still visible beneath the bows or tie-dye colours."

09 May 2011

Tunnels of light. Meeting with dead loved Ones... The Truth About Near-Death Experiences

By Steve Boggan

Are those extraordinary stories proof of the afterlife - or plain hokum? A top brain specialist has a compelling new theory...

Gillian MacKenzie remembers feeling worried for her unborn child, as the world around her fell into darkness, save for a dot of brilliant light.

She was somehow aware that her delivery had gone wrong and she was losing a lot of blood, but there was comfort in the light.

‘It was like a tiny pinprick at first and then I realised I was being drawn closer to it and it was getting bigger and bigger,’ she says. ‘The brightness was shining like the walls of a tunnel.

Lucid: Out-of-body experiences can change the course of people's lives - but can they be explained by how our brains work?

Lucid: Out-of-body experiences can change the course of people's lives - but can they be explained by how our brains work?

‘I felt no fear as I went into the tunnel and emerged fully into the brilliance. There was the most wonderful feeling of bliss. I can only describe it as ecstasy.

‘Suddenly I heard a man’s voice saying: “Gill.” It was a very nice voice and I thought:

“Oh no, I’ve come before God — and I don’t even believe in Him!” He asked if I knew who he was and I said: “Yes, but I’m afraid I can’t say your name.” He obviously had a sense of humour because he chuckled at that.’

Who’s to say that these mechanisms weren’t created by God in the first place precisely to provide comfort just when we might need it most — as we approach death

Gillian’s experience happened many years ago, before the term near-death experience had been coined, but it is as real to her today as it was when she began haemorrhaging during a difficult childbirth.

No one knows for sure, but scientists believe as many as one in ten of us will have a near-death experience, most likely during cardiac arrest.

Typically, we will see a light, travel through a tunnel, have an encounter with a lost loved one or float above ourselves and watch doctors and nurses trying to resuscitate us.

Those who have had such experiences often describe profound moments of joy and insight that change them for ever.

Many believe they have had a glimpse of the afterlife, an experience that shores up their faith and leaves them unafraid of death. To them, it is real, lucid and precious.

Dreaming could be a contributing factor to near-death experiences

Dreaming could be a contributing factor to near-death experiences

It might come as something of a shock, then, for them to learn that a respected American neurologist believes he can explain all the symptoms of near-death experience in physiological terms — terms that would firmly close the door on thoughts of souls departing for the afterlife before returning to Earth.

Kevin Nelson, Professor of Neurology at the University of Kentucky, has been studying near-death experiences for more than 30 years.

In his new book, The God Impulse — Is Religion Hardwired Into The Brain?, he puts forward explanations for all elements of the near-death experience, but central to his argument is the involvement of REM — rapid eye movement.

This is the time during sleep when we dream most and during which the sleeper is paralysed apart from the eye muscles, heart and diaphragm (which controls breathing).

Professor Nelson believes that some people are more susceptible than others to a condition called ‘REM intrusion’, where the paralysis that accompanies REM happens while an individual is awake — and is often accompanied by vivid hallucinations.

Research conducted by Professor Nelson examined the cases of 55 people who had described having a near-death experience.

Of those, 60 per cent had previously had episodes of REM intrusion, compared with only 24 per cent in a group of people chosen at random.

‘Instead of passing directly between the REM state and wakefulness, the brains of those with a near- death experience are more likely to blend the two states into one another,’ he says.

This places the subject into what he calls the ‘borderlands’ of consciousness.

Some people believe they meet with dead relatives during their experience

Some people believe they meet with dead relatives during their experience

‘Many people enter this unstable borderland for only a few seconds or minutes before emerging into REM or waking,’ he says.

‘In the borderland, paralysis, lights, hallucinations and dreaming can come to us. During a crisis such as a cardiac arrest, the borderland could explain much of what we know as the near-death experience.’

But what about the light, the tunnel, the spiritual encounters and out-of-body experiences? He has explanations for these, too.

In his study, Professor Nelson found that the symptoms of near-death experiences happened in fainting as well as during life-or-death traumas such as heart attacks.

But what most of these episodes have in common is a temporary interruption of blood flow to the brain.

‘Normally, 20 per cent of the blood the heart pumps sustains the brain,’ he says. ‘If the blood flow is reduced to a third of its normal supply,  the brain remains immediately active, but after ten to 20 seconds, it  loses consciousness.

‘The brain sustains no injury, even if this flow rate lasts for hours. At these marginal flows, a person may slip in and out of consciousness.

‘A great deal of what happens in the brain during near-death experiences comes about because of a reaction to the crisis of having low blood flow, regardless of how briefly. When blood is draining from the head, just before consciousness is lost, the tissue that is most sensitive to failure is not the brain, it is actually the eye, the retina.

‘When the retina fails, darkness ensues and it fails from the outside inwards, producing the characteristic tunnel vision.

‘The light at the end of the tunnel could come from two different sources. It could be from ambient light — such as the background light in a hospital emergency room — which may be all the brain can recognise as blood drains from the head.

‘Alternatively, the REM system, which is known for its robust activation of the visual system, could generate light internally, within the brain.’

But people don’t just see the tunnel — they feel themselves travelling through it. How can this be?

‘Well, the area of the brain associated with out-of-body experiences, the temporoparietal region, is right next to the area that is responsible for our sensation of motion,’ he says.

‘Normally, this area gets turned off during REM sleep, but in some cases it could be that this process does not function properly, and that during  the transition into REM, the brain experiences a sense of motion.’

That explains the visions, the light and tunnel, but what about the floating out-of-body experience? And the sensation of being dead?

The dead bit is easy — this is down to the fact that sleepers are paralysed during REM sleep, otherwise they might hurt themselves acting out their dreams.

To explain the out-of-body floating, Professor Nelson refers to a piece of research conducted by a neurologist in Switzerland called Olaf Blanke.

Blanke and his colleagues made an astonishing discovery one day while preparing a 43-year-old woman for surgery. She was suffering from seizures and the surgeons were applying electrical impulses to her brain to try to find out from where the problem was emanating.

Suddenly, the woman, who had to be conscious for the procedure, said she had floated outside her body and was looking down on herself. The electrical current was switched off and she returned to her body.

‘The woman’s sense of being in or out of her body came and went with the mechanical predictability of turning on a light switch,’ says Professor Nelson.

‘The person manning the switch moved her consciousness at will. It was as if the elevator “up” button for an out-of-body experience had been discovered.’

Finally, feelings of bliss could be accounted for by the brain’s reward system. During moments of extreme crisis, the body releases chemicals that provide a sense of relaxation and well-being.

This is thought to be an evolutionary quirk that stems back to prehistoric times. If a hunting party had been cornered by a predator and was sure to be killed, it made it easier for the rest of  the group to escape if the victim did not struggle too much.

The predator would expend time and energy consuming one victim, making it easier for the others to avoid the same fate.

But what does Gillian MacKenzie think of all this? During her near-death experience, she met her grandfather, Harry, who had died two years before.

She told him she had given birth to a boy — which was correct, though she had no way of knowing it — and she floated above herself, seeing doctors working on her.

She also floated above her husband, Hamish, following him down a hospital corridor and watching him phone her mother.

‘I wasn’t at all frightened, but I was wondering how I was going to let Hamish know that everything was going to be all right and that I would get back into my body somehow,’ she says.

Gillian, now a pensioner living in Eastbourne, East Sussex, adds: ‘I told my grandfather that I would have to leave and go back to look after my husband and baby, but he said I had to present a strong case for me to be allowed back.’

During the episode, Gillian re-lived memories, good and bad, and said she came away with a better understanding of her life.

For example, she had never forgiven her mother for leaving her at boarding school and remembers crying as she walked away.

‘Re-living it made me realise that it must have been so hard for her, too, hearing me crying and not being allowed to look back at me,’ she says. ‘I had new insight and I told my grandfather that I would have to go back to put this greater understanding to good use in helping others. And then I went back.’

In later years, Gillian became a counsellor. ‘Before the experience, I had been intolerant with people. After it, I was a completely different person.

‘So you can put a rational explanation for the experiences of people like me, but that would be missing the point. To us, they are real and they have a profound effect on you and the way you live your life afterwards. It took away any fear I might have had of dying and I think it made me a better person. You can call them hallucinations if you want, but they are our reality.’

None of this is lost on Professor Nelson. He says his work isn’t intended to disprove the existence of God or to diminish the importance of near-death experiences.

‘There is a widening schism between people who think God is an anachronism and regard all spiritual experience as a dangerous delusion and those who consider religion [to be at] the core of their lives,’ he says.

‘I was determined that someone based in neuroscience should try to explain the nature of spiritual experience, not explain it away.

‘I treat all of these experiences with the reverence and respect they deserve because they are powerful to the people who have them. They are the most powerful experiences that many of them will ever have.

‘So, yes, I might be trying to explain how and why they happen in physiological terms, but I would argue that isn’t incompatible with people believing in God if they want to.

'After all, who’s to say that these mechanisms weren’t created by God in the first place precisely to provide comfort just when we might need it most — as we approach death.’

The God Impulse — Is Religion Hardwired Into The Brain?  by Kevin Nelson (Simon & Schuster, £16.99).

Now, A Viagra Condom

New erection-enhancing condom nears approval

London, May 9 : Men who have trouble maintaining erections when wearing a condom may get a boost from a new product dubbed the "Viagra condom."

British biotech company Futura Medical has created a new condom, currently known as CSD500, that is coated on the inside with a vasodilator gel that increases blood flow and results in a stronger, longer-lasting erection.

The product is nearing final regulatory approval, and condom company Durex announced late last month its aim to unroll the condoms in Europe by the end of the year. Plans have yet to be announced on whether the manufacturers will apply for FDA approval to market the condoms in the US.

Research has shown that men who struggle with maintaining erections while wearing condoms are less likely to use them and more likely to risk unprotected sex. Adam Glickman, founder of the online store Condomania.com, said in an interview with Portfolio magazine that the new condom might encourage these men to start changing their ways and practicing safe sex.

In clinical trials, subjects reported stronger erections and increased penis size -- although the manufacturers say the aim of the product is not recreational, but to give men with condom-related erectile dysfunction a better option.

Another problem some men and women face with condom use is latex allergy, but now consumers may get some relief from a new type of latex condom that retains all of the advantages of traditional latex and (almost) none of the allergens.

The Envy condom, made from a new patented low-protein variant of natural rubber latex (NRL), is sold on the company's website and via online retailers such as Condomania.com (international shipping available). A box of 12 condoms sells for $12.99 (about 9.50).

04 May 2011

How Most Of The World Probably Sees Americans

Hillbilly Celebrates Osama's Death In Most 'American' Way Possible

Hillbilly Celebrates Osama Death

ATV?
Check.

American flag?
Check.

Gun?
Check.

Dead terrorist?
Damn straight, that's a check.

Scroll Down for Video

Even as we've all breathed a collective sigh of relief, celebrated in our own ways, made jokes to relieve the last ten years of angst, most of us have had a moment or two where we stopped and thought, "Is it ok to be so happy that someone is dead?"

The answer, of course, is yes, but it's comforting to know that even in such a black and white case of "evil" being vanquished, our humanity always rises to the surface to ask the hard questions.

Of course, it's hard to explain that to the rest of the world when this is probably what they assumed we were doing anyway:

New Yorkers Can Now Watch Porn in Public Libraries

NewYork PublicLibrary

New York, May 4
: People of New York can now watch internet porn at the city's public libraries, thanks to a policy of free speech, officials said.

"Customers can watch whatever they want on the computer," said Brooklyn Public Library spokeswoman Malika Granville.

The New York Post reported that people are free to watch anything on computers at the city's 200-plus libraries.

The rule, however, has angered religious leaders and library patrons. "What they're doing is publicly funding an appetite for the most debased fare available," said Catholic League president Bill Donohue.

"It's not like a Playboy centerfold anymore - it's far worse," he said.

Library visitor Daisy Nazario, 60, said she was disgusted when she found she was sitting next to an elderly man watching porn at the Brooklyn Central Library.

"I could hear the voices," Nazario said. "It is very disrespectful to children."

Under American law, libraries that use federal funding only must install filters on publicly-used computers to block content that have obscenity and child pornography.

Library officials said it is a free speech issue.

"In deference to the First Amendment protecting freedom of speech, the New York Public Library cannot prevent adult patrons from accessing adult content that is legal," said New York Public Library spokeswoman Angela Montefinise.

02 May 2011

Do The Math

true date of birth